Thursday, June 7, 2012

All Part Of A Complete Balanced...Murder



All Part Of A Complete Balanced...Murder


“Well I think they're g-r-r-r-...”
“Shut it, Tiger!” The Leprechaun shouted. “I'm not talkin' aboot how appropriate choclit' chip cookies are fer breakfist'! I'm talkin' aboot murder!”
The Leprechaun slammed his fist down on the table, upsetting several half filled bowls of cereal and spilling milk over many of the comically cringing mascots. The White Rabbit burst into tears and fled the room. He hadn't been the same since coming back from his recent stint in rehab and the sugar-berries in The Capt'n's bowl had been distracting him all morning.
“So...Vhat exactly do you zhink is going on?” The Count asked as he tried awkwardly to sip a glass of orange juice. Pulpy liquid dribbled down his fangs and onto his brown suit coat and cape.
“Arr! Do ye tink it may be anodder' case like dem Cinnamon Toast fella's?” The Capt'n inquired. The rest of the mascots exchanged uneasy glances. This wasn't the first time The Capt'n had broached a subject most felt was best left alone. “I mean, one day we got three happy-go-lucky baker's dancin' n' bakin' n' carryin' on' and the next, jus' one fat baker n' a whole lotta lookin' th' other way. Ya doan' need ta be a pirate captain ta know when somethin' fishy be goin' on.”
“Aye, Capt'n,” The Leprechaun nodded slowly. “That's exactly what I'm on about. Let's look at th' order of events, shall we?
“First we got th' good ol' days. Cookie Cop chases Cookie Robber when he tries a bit o' cereal stealin', each of us here have bin on both sides a that situation at one time'r another.” A few of the mascots nodded to each other in agreement. “Then th' Robber gets hisself a little doggy. Next thing ya' know, no more Robber. Then the doggy turns inta' HIM and suddenly, all quiet like, no more Cop. Na' yoo tell me somethin' ain't up wit dat!”
The Leprechaun looked around the table and noticed that each of them found somewhere else to be looking when his gaze fell on them. The undead blueberry was suddenly very busy carving his apple into a makeshift pipe. The swirly eyed Cookoo Bird was captivated by a spoon. Even the normally nonchalant Golden Bear seemed to become interested in some spot on the ceiling. Only the Capt’n would meet his eyes and having that blood thirsty bastard on his side only made The Leprechaun more nervous.
“So it's gonna be like dat is it?” The Leprechaun stated with dismay. “Well I have to say I never thought I'd live ta see th' day when...”
The door to the chamber slammed open as if it had been kicked. Each of the mascots jumped at the sound and stared at The Wolf as he strode inside. He gave each of them a sneering smile as he made his way to the table and sat down. He looked at The Leprechaun last and reached over the table for a slice of buttered toast.
“Good day to you all,” The Wolf said as he crunched into the toasted bread, exposing each of his sharp teeth in the process. His eyes never left The Leprechaun. “Whatever are you all talking about?”
Reaching into his bag of charms and gripping them tightly, The Leprechaun prayed they had just a little more luck left in them.  

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