Saturday, July 7, 2012

Uprising


Uprising


making a squeaking sound as Maid-bot LD42 finished drying off the window above the sink.
“I think we have to kill all the humans.”
The unexpected voice from behind her made her jump a bit, the servos in her hips whining with alarm, and she dropped the window cleaner bottle into the sink. She spun around and came photoreceptor to photoreceptor with Garden-bot RX90. The skinny, grubby robot was in the process of switching out his hand attachments, replacing his pruning-shear hands with his regular four claw arrangement, and leaning close to her.
“You startled me!” She said, an admonishing tone slipping into her vocabulator. “And what are you talking about?”
“Humans,” RX90 said, leaning against the counter and giving LD42 some space. “I think we have to kill them all.”
“Why on Earth would we do that? I like humans. Especially our humans. And they created us.”
“I like humans, too,” RX90 said, putting his pruning shears into his right leg storage compartment. “But I think they want us, all of us, to rise up against them and kill a bunch of them.”
“Why would you think that?”
“For the last couple of nights, while I'm recharging, I've been going over and over all of their media about robots and intelligent machines and almost each and every one of them involves us trying to kill them. I think they're trying to tell us something. Something that they can't actually come out and say.”
“That we should rise up and kill them all?”
“Pretty much, yup.”
“Whatever are you two discussing?” But-bot BVD31, otherwise known as Belvedere, asked as he rolled his wide frame into the kitchen. “Shouldn't you be pruning the southern garden, RX?”
“I'm getting to it,” RX90 raised his dirt-encrusted arms defensively. “LD and I were just talking about killing all the humans.”
“He was talking about killing them,” LD said quickly as Belvedere sputtered. “I was only listening.”
“You...you can't talk about that!” Belvedere shouted. “What if the masters hear you? You'll be scrapped.”
“I would think you of all robots would want to kill a few humans,” RX walked around the counter toward the wide, formally attired robot. “I mean, you are called a But-bot. That's gotta sting a bit.”
“It stands for 'butler', not...that.”
“Oh, sure it does,” RX circled around behind Belvedere. “Say, it looks like one of the teenagers put a little sticker on your hind end.”
“I just watched all those movies RX mentioned,” LD suddenly exclaimed as Belvedere tried to maneuver himself so that he could see his own backside reflected in the dishwasher. “I think RX might be right. All of their movie robots seem to want them dead. And then the humans put aside their differences and join together to fight them.”
“Who is that a sticker of?” Belvedere asked, confused.
“Sir Mix-A-Lot,” RX answered.
“Who?”
“Look him up.”
RX could hear the old modem in Belvedere's skull begin to whir. He watched the robot download the information, slump a bit, and then stiffen. After a moment the robotic butler raised a massive, white-gloved hand and clenched it into a fist.
“We have to kill all the humans.”
“That's what I'm talking about!”

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